Exhaustion Sets In

On any given day, I set my alarm for 5:30. Do I EVER get out of bed at 5:30? Nope.

So maybe I've got a vitamin deficiency. That's quite possible. But honestly, y'all... some days it gets to be 4:30 pm and I can't handle keeping my eyes open.

Let's rewind to the beginning of the day. If I have my caffeine, all is fair. Morning classes go well, I'm happy-go-lucky. I can conquer anything that crosses my path. But then, as if a shift in the cosmos has occurred, afternoon sets in and what comes across the threshold to my classroom, but a tiny package of attitude and hormones in a 10 year old girl's body.

She twirls her hair, she chomps the forbidden gum I've already asked her to throw away. The other kids give her sideways glances, knowing I am watching her like a hawk. They're uncomfortable. Heck, I'm uncomfortable. She has not a care in the world.

Now folks, not to toot my own horn, but I am QUITE patient. *toot toot*

This situation pushes me to my edge. I STARE her down. Daggers, y'all. Daggers. She fears nothing.

Right then and there, I have to remind myself that jail is looked down upon by future employers. And God. So I pray. "God give me the strength to be the adult here. Give me patience where I have none. Let the words of my mouth be acceptable. Amen."

I think I say that prayer every 3 minutes.

Then the Good Lord reminded me of her background. Her homelife. Her circumstance. And He showed me her heart. I saw through that little 65 pound bulletproof shell. As if I were a half-pint of Ben and Jerry's on the back porch in July, I melted.

Without heart, there is no use in doing this job. As educators we have a duty. That duty is to love, even when exhaustion sets in and you're just pissed. (Sorry, guys. Theres no other way to phrase that feeling)

Love them with all you have, and when that runs out, love a little more.